Chamber Of Reflection
by ghm
Summary: Kol hallucinates Davina in 3x22. A fic on what exactly he saw.


A/N: I'm back with another Kolvina fic! This one was harder to write than _New Flesh_ simply because I had to go back and watch all the heartbreaking Kolvina moments from the end of season will be a sad/angsty fic so be forewarned… I will have a part two to _New Flesh_ up soon, so read that after to cheer up. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Originals, or the songs Chamber of Reflection by Mac Demarco or Crying by Roy Orbison.

* * *

 _I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while_

 _But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight_

 _As you stopped to say hello._

 _And you wished me well, and you couldn't tell_

 _That'd I'd been crying over you._

* * *

He felt as if he was under water. Like the pressure was making it hard to breathe, and the depth making every word spoken around him sound so faint and distorted he wasn't entirely sure if they were there. It was getting hard for Kol to distinguish what was reality and what was fiction at this point. Were the voices he was hearing actually here in Lucien Castles penthouse? Or were they just a side effect of the poison coursing through his veins. It sounded pretty weird that a thousand year old vampire would be questioning fiction and reality so much, wasn't he supposed to be a made up being used to scare children on Halloween? Not the tormented, broken man who lay dying on an unfamiliar couch.

All Kol knew that was in this world of facts, fiction, reality and dreams, was that he, along with his siblings were poisoned, and knocking at death's door. Fiction wasn't being too kind to these big bad vampires, but reality had not been too kind lately either…

Words that's still rang clearly in his mind which reminded him of how cruel reality was still rang through his head.

" _If it weren't for you, she'd still be alive!"_

Marcel's voice clamored in his skull so loud, Kol felt like he was right back in the moment… hearing the words he wished weren't true, but were.

Kol had killed Davina Claire. It wasn't in his right mind, but did that matter? It was still his hands that pressed her against the bar, and it was still his teeth that pierced her neck. It was still Kol Mikaelson that sucked every last drop of blood out of Davina Claire. Now all he felt was pain. He felt like that was the broken record of his life. Anytime any good came into his life, a Mikaelson would ruin it.

" _By hurting the ones we love whether we mean to or not… It's just what we do."_ Kol thought hazily to himself, remembering what he had said to Elijah a short while ago.

He was starting to think this is what he deserved… what they all deserved for all the anguish they had caused.

Kol could feel his consciousness wavering, he didn't know if his screams and thrashes he was giving out were actually happening, or just another head game. But the pain from Marcel's venom was starting to flare up again and he needed some relief, if not death which Freya denied him, then something... anything…

"Freya…" He called out weakly, trying to muster all his power, "Freya…!"

Kol opened his eyes slowly and turned to see his sister hunched over a table, Klaus, Hayley and Elijah were nowhere to be seen.

"Give… me something...!" Kol tried to scream desperately to his sister, but it was no use.

In his state, his usual demanding yells were reduced to hoarse incoherent mumbles. Not that it mattered really, Freya could barely see straight, let alone hear his failing calls. Kol fell back down to the couch in defeat and shut his eyes again and drifted off.

* * *

"Kol…"

"Kol, seriously…!"

"Earth to Kol!"

"Hey!" and Kol heard someone snap their fingers. His eyes flew open like they'd been burned.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Davina chuckled in front him.

"Now get you head in the game or I'm going to beat you." She said shuffling through the cards she held in her dainty hands.

Confusion took over Kol and he could feel his eyes go wide as he tried to process what was happening. Davina was alive. They were in the church attic, on her bed, playing poker. He looked down at his hand, he was holding cards just like her, sitting right across from her like he had a thousand times. Being in the attic again felt wrong on some level, but having Davina so close to him again made it all feel alight.

He watched as he pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and focused intently on her hand as she was contemplating her next move. God, how he had missed that look. She looked so carefree, so fearless, so beautiful. Just everything he remembered her to be.

"So, I talked to Josh and he was thinking of having a movie marathon with us. Movies from this whole last year you were dead then, well all the movies from the last century you missed from being in a box, " Davina chuckled, shuffling her cards around, "Whattya say?"

When he didn't answer right away Davina glanced up from her hand and looked at him with a quizzical expression.

"Um, y-yes. Of course darling that sounds great." Kol said, almost as if he had before.

Then it hit him.

This exact date had happened before. A little time after Davina had resurrected him, they had been laying in her bed after what must have been the tenth round of sex that afternoon. They were reminiscing about when they were children, and Davina had brought up how when she was a girl, her father would host a poker night once a month for all the other male witches in the quarter. Since she was a girl and to young, he never taught her how to play. Kol had decided right then and there that this was a crime!

"Where are your playing cards, Davina Claire? I must teach you this important life skill immediately!" Kol had proclaimed, gathering his discarded underwear from the floor.

"And if you're lucky," He said picking up his shirt and promptly throwing it to her to put on. It had hit her in the face, and she had laughed his favorite laugh, the one he knew he would never forget.

"I'll even teach you how to cheat." Kol sent a wink her way, as Davina flicked her wrist and a drawer with playing cards in it opened.

"Yes, I will need to learn how to cheat for when I go to Vegas and start my lucrative career as a card counter." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she buttoned up Kol's shirt around her body.

"You never know, darling…" He palmed the cards and walked back over to the bed, throwing them in the middle of the unmade sheets.

"It could definitely come in handy." Kol said standing next to Davina who was still sitting under the haphazard covers.

Davina just smiled and rolled her eyes once again, wrapping both her arms around his waist, and placing a delicate kiss on his stomach.

"... Yeah so I'm thinking like classic's first, so Breakfast at Tiffany's, Some Like It Hot-" Davina rambled.

"Davina." Kol said, setting his cards on the bed.

"Hmm?" She gazed at him from over her cards.

"This isn't real. This already happened… didn't it?" Kol wanted her to tell him that this was real. That he was crazy and to stop whining because she was beating him. But he knew it wasn't.

"Of course this isn't real. Kol you know this already happened." Davina said like it should have been common knowledge.

"Why are we here? Why this memory? Why now? "

"You must really like it," She shrugged, still looking at the cards, "We did have _a lot_ of fun this day, if you know what I mean."

"So you're not really here?" Kol's words came out pained.

Davina let out a long sigh, and set her cards down as well.

"No, I'm not. Kol I'm dead, you know that." She took both his hands in hers.

Kol couldn't begin to describe the feeling of how amazing Davina's skin felt against his.

"So is this just my brain playing a cruel trick on me?" Kol started to rage, pushing her hands away and standing up.

"Just make me think of what I want most in the world but can't have?!"

Davina sighed again, "Kol you thought of this memory. This moment is being dictated by you, the poison in your system is just helping it seem very realistic."

"But I want it to be realistic! Reality!" He yelled, "I want this to be real!"

Kol moved his hands to his hair, pulling and tugging at the roots. Why was his mind playing tricks on him? Either let me die quick and painless or give Freya the strength to find a cure! Not flaunt a gorgeous, smiling and alive Davina at him! The memory hurt to much… Seeing her hurt to much knowing she wasn't real.

"Kol, it's okay to give into the pain. Death is circling you... why not go out playing poker with me than listening to what depressing news your family is discussing?" Davina stood up from the bed and walked to where he stood.

"Just stay with me, forever." She gently untangled his hands from his hair and and intertwined their fingers together. "We deserve this."

Kol looked at her again, but this time really looked at her. The way her hair was perfectly tousled, they way her nose turned up when she smiled, the way her eyes were someone how twenty shades of brown, with the the slightest tinge of hazel. The way his dress shirt hit her mid thigh, the way her fingernail and toenail polish matched and was expertly applied. He loved all of it. He missed all of it. Maybe Davina was right, he should just stay here and play cards with her until the inevitable comes. At least he'll go out happy, right?

Kol pulled Davina hard against his chest, and buried his nose in her hair, memorizing her smell. She swayed them gently back and forth and Kol counted her breathes.

Until her breathes stopped coming, and the pain of his neck was excruciating again.

* * *

Kol felt his body jolt and his eyes open, hoping to see Davina sitting by his side. But instead saw a pacing Hayley, looking worried sick.

"Davina…?" Kol muttered, wondering maybe if he called to her she would appear again in his arms just like a moment before.

But instead Hayley stopped pacing and looked at him, "Kol, what'd you say?"

She walked closer to where he still lay on the couch, "Kol, how do you feel?"

Hayley's words seemed to slow and fade as she spoke, Kol tried to answer her, but he felt himself fading off once again.

* * *

"Your bedroom this time, nice."

Kol's eyes snapped open like before and he took in his surroundings. His bedroom at the Mikaelson compound.

"This was a good day wasn't it? Coming here after we ate at the little hole in the wall restaurant by Rousseau's. I had ravioli and you have chicken parmesan, but insisted we share." Davina said looking down at her dress, the one she had wore that night to dinner, like she was reminiscing about every moment that happened.

"Davina thank God," Kol said running across the room to where she stood, pulling her into a bone crushing hug, "I thought I lost you again."

Kol heard her giggle.

"I won't go anywhere if you don't want me too."

"You know I never want you going anywhere. I just have to find a way to stay in this moment for as long as I can." He spoke into the crook of her neck.

Kol clung to her like a child, he never wanted to let go afraid that she'd disappear like before.

"Kol?" Davina spoke up after a moment of comfortable embracing silence.

"Yes?" He replied, pulling away from their hug to look at her face, which to his dismay was streaked with tears.

"I don't know how long we have, but I just want to say-" Her voice cracked as she spoke, so Kol cut her off.

"No goodbyes, not again. The first go around hurt to much. Can't we just enjoy each others company? Enjoy the conversations and storytelling like we did that night after dinner? Why can't we go back to that, Davina?" Now matching tears graced his cheeks.

Kol was frantically brushing away stray tears that fell from Davina's eyes as he held her head in his hands, determined not to have another last memory of her with tears in her eyes.

"No Kol, we can't. This is already gone, this night, the night with poker, it's all just memories. I'm sorry, I wish I could find a way to make it better, I wish I could help." Davina choked out.

"I know you do. You always want to help everyone, that's one of the reasons I love you, Davina Claire. Always looking out for other people, even when you're dead." They both let out a sad chuckle.

"I'm sorry I did this to you, I'm sorry I kil-" Davina spoke over him loudly.

"Don't even start Kol. We both know it wasn't you. You didn't kill me. The ancestors did. Just like Vincent didn't do all those horrible things Finn did in his body, Finn did those things." Now Davina was the one wiping his tears away.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to rip Freya and Elijah apart when they sent you back to down with the ancestors. Know if I had been there, there would have been hell to pay!" Kol said angrily through gritted teeth.

"I know," She gave him a tearful smile, "We'll always protect each other."

"Always and forever." Kol said breathlessly, looking into her ocean eyes.

With that, Kol leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss that he had needed more than he knew. Davina pulled away quickly, much to Kol's disappointment.

"Know that I love you, Kol Mikaelson. Always and forever, until the sun burns out in the sky, I will love you." She said with so much passion, Kol felt his heart flutter.

"I will love you for as long as I'm alive and forever after that. Davina, I swear, God as my witness I will find a way for us to be together again." Kol said, failing to fight back more tears.

"I know you will. You owe me one, I mean I brought you back from the dead. It's only fair you reply the favor." Davina smirked up at him, and Kol genuinely laughed, for the first time since her death.

"You're right, I do." He smiled down at her, stroking the hair that framed her face to the side.

Right when he was about to speak again, a cold feeling flowed through him, and he felt a force throw him against the far wall of his bedroom. Davina stood where they once stood looking horrified and confused. He struggle with every ounce of strength he had to speak, to scream out for her to run, to do something rather than just stand in the middle of his now somehow empty was thrashing against this suffocating force, trying to escape from whatever the hell was holding him.

Then as if out of nowhere, a cloaked figure appeared right behind Davina. Kol tried to scream, point, gesture, anything to get her attention to the figure behind her! But it was no use, like his calls to Freya earlier, his pleas were lost.

The cloaked figure grabbed Davina by the neck as she let out a scream of pain. Kol had no idea what was happening. Wasn't he controlling this? Count he make it stop? Or had the venom finally seeped into his brain? He tried to imagine a different memory, a weapon for Davina, but it was nothing worked. The cloaked figure had Davina cornered.

"Don't hurt her!" Kol's horrified scream rang out. He was still kicking, thrashing anything to get away from the force that kept him so far from protecting Davina.

"Davina!" Kol yelled again.

This couldn't happen not again, he wouldn't let her get hurt again! So with everything he had he pushed off the wall where he was being held and used his heightened speed to push Davina out of the way of the cloaked attacker. He then grabbed it by the throat and began to choke the life out of whatever dare hurt his Davina, his fantasy world still crashing down around him as he tightened his hands waiting for whatever this thing was to give out…

* * *

"Brother!" Kol heard a stern deep voice call, which immediately pulled him from his trance, "calm yourself."

Elijah stood over him, holding his hands down to the couch. Kol looked around to see Hayley touching her neck, and staring at Elijah's worsening bit mark, one that no doubt resembled his own. Then Kol's vision failed him again, and the voices around him were once more distant and muffled… but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get to another memory of him and Davina.

The rest of the night was a blur, Kol was so catatonic at this point, he barely felt himself being carried from the couch and placed in a chair around the table where Freya was once working. So he barely heard Hayley talking to Rebekah about the plan with Klaus, or Hayley telling her she'd come for her soon. His eyes fluttered just enough to see his, Elijah's, Rebekah's, Freya's, and Klaus' names all written in viking with blood surrounding them.

" _What the hell?"_ Kol thought, trying to think back on all his witch knowledge to figure out what Freya was planning.

When he felt his body begin to violently shake, he finally guessed. She was sending them to a dream world, a land made completely of fiction to harbor the most deadly (yet right now impaired) creators the world had ever seen. He had to hand it to Freya, this spell wasn't easy.

As his body shook from the spell and the pain from the venom of the bite still overpowered his system, faint fast memories started to come flying back to him…

" _I was dead for ages Davina Claire. And then you smiled and something inside me cracked wide open,"_

" _A witch needs a coven even if it's just two."_

" _I'll bring you back and we can take them on together. We can do anything, can't we?"_

" _I love you Kol Mikaelson."_

" _We're going to be okay. We've already been through so much."_

" _Davina Claire, you are the best thing about being alive."_

" _I love you."_

Kol could hear his and Davina's voice's echo around his head as his soul began to finally leave his body, the light in his eyes slowly began as a tiny pinpoint, so small he wasn't sure it was even there. But as the spell began to come to an end the light was so blinding, Kol wanted to scream out in agony. But just as it started it all stopped so abruptly. And just as everything began to fade to black, Kol could've swore he heard Davina's voice say:

 _"Give em' hell Kol Mikaelson."_

* * *

 _"Then you said so long,_

 _Left me standing all along,_

 _Alone and crying."_

* * *

A/N: Okay, so I am really nervous about this story, but oh well. I want to stress that Kol was hallucinating in this story. Halfway through writing I started to picture all these hate comments bashing on the Kolvina heavy parts of the fic so I wanted to add this disclaimer. But I really hope you enjoyed this story, and if you did, make sure to check out my other Kolvina story! Don't forget to review :*


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